I have found a place. Standing on a dock, something past midnight. A dark cast sky, but alive with more stars than the eye can see.

I spin to see a greater reality.  To witness more light.

I find myself on this dock noticing my placement. I notice how uncomfortable I am with the thought of imposition. To think that I am being a bother is an incredible nuisance. That is why I crave alone time. When I can be unobserved by the meandering eye. I enjoy the silence in solitude. And as I grow into a more comfortable version of myself I allow myself to live publicly – not concerned with the opinion of the other.

But I am. I certainly want the other to be happy? Do I? Does my, ‘I think I know what is best’ attitude hinder others from being themselves? But do I really hinder people? I feel like I allow them to be themselves, that is something I actively work at. Eliminating my filters of judgment, just letting the other person be, not trying to impose or enforce my will upon them.

Perhaps to a fault.

But I randomly rant on, rumbling with ideas. Below the surface of my selected societal service lies an infinitude of bubbling mumbles about the quest for meaning.

And so here I find myself, exploring.

Mining.

But what to do when I want to set my tools aside. To reside in a place without wanting.

And so here I sit. Again, listening to the world around me. And again I sleep in this palace of creativity, temporary of course. But what is not?  

About time and limits I wonder.

It’s an addiction, surrendering to a flow. What good reason is there not to? An opportunity presents itself. Work with it. Be willing to move. That is flow. Co-operatively create. Serves each other – in the house and in the world. Serve the Earth. The natural world. Return the sense of awe to life. Inspire awe.

Life.

What more need be said?

Does the mention of ‘Life’ fill you with reverence? Does it course through your veins electric? What does life mean? Does it wash over you like a Torus manifold?  Is it an endless pouring, or is it boring? Are you caught snoring? Does life cease to amaze? Because it may. Or are you willing to play? Willing to play! Willing to participate in life.

But I return. To my place.

It’s simple. It’s a breath. I really feel like my vocation comes naturally. And it reveals itself in the day to day. Today I make a film about creativity. It is not work. It is an excitement that pulls me into an endlessly weaving breathing of life force creativity.

I ask for your sympathy. I ask that you vibe with me.

But I won’t force you. What I do is secretly suggest.  To suggest that there is an art to living. That there is a beautiful behaviour. That there is a good that one can strive to. And it is the addictive surrender. To understand the law is to surrender to the law.

And as I stood under the starry sky I heard a demand for trust. I understood the importance of trust. To dissolve separation. To dissolve doubt. Trust placed in faith.

Acknowledging truth turns faith into fact. Why is faith required if the law is always observed? Can faith be replaced by unity? What reason is there for faith in unity? Faith is for those separated. When one fails to see the whole, only the bearing they must endure, not knowing why.

So here I dig – excavation.

But I fall into silence.

Why play music when the birds are chirping?

What when my need to exercise my will lays limp? Is it possible to transcend the need to exercise that, in the loosened grip of the mind what takes place? The will of the world. The will of the Lord. Peace. Love. Unity.

Yes. I am a dreamer. I live in a world of ideals. Fired up by the fuels of contemplation.

I return to quiet sitting. What need be said. Rest wishes to take hold of my mind. There is no profit to striving here the oracle would say.

It is a balancing act, a push-pull exertion of the will as willed by the great creation.

I am stationed – placed temporarily on Earth. Given by birth time in the three D. Dimensional. Multi-dimensional beings. Space-time trajectory.

And I lose my eye in the metaphysical.

I am a subjective radical. Believing in an ideal.