Well, today has been a lazy day. It certainly feels that way. And so was yesterday, and the day before, and so the story goes since time immemorial.

Okay, it’s not that extreme, but I have been feeling really relaxed lately. Perhaps too relaxed. It is a personal choice. I can push myself harder, faster, longer. But It’d be a lie to say that I haven’t enjoyed these last few days.

It was triggered by a wonderful phone interview I had which quickly led to a contract position in the Street Art department of the City of Toronto. They told me that the position will start at the end of July and run until the end of September.

As you may remember I was feeling a lot of inadequacy and incompetence as I was job hunting but this position is so perfectly suited to me. My experience as a detail oriented, amicable, visual art inspired, house painter qualifies me so well. (Huge massive thanks to Anto for recommending me for this position!)

Anyhow, once I was offered that position I immediately took my foot of the gas and started coasting. And I am still enjoying this coast. I’m not gonna be too hard on myself. I’m letting myself enjoy this.

I’ve been border-line binge watching a drama on Netflix. Watching all kinds of camera reviews on youtube as I build my first camera kit, which I’m very excited about, and hanging out with some friends.

In addition to the job, I made it past the 40 day cannabis free period and was also experiencing that freedom. I ended up getting to about 47 days before indulging in a little bit last night.

Also the 12 week fitness course ended. I also started slacking on my Wim Hof breathing. Jeeez, what a lazy guy. Ha ha. It’s true, but I also think this rest is important for the long term. I wonder when I’ll get back into high gear, or at least some kind of medium gear. I do have a couple jobs lined up this week that will need me to get in some kind of shape, but I still coast.

And there’s more. I’ve been sleeping in too. Late mornings. I gotta say, although I enjoy the experience of doing whatever I want with zero responsibilities, I much prefer the regimented routine which pushes me to learn and acquire skills. I feel like a more accomplished human being when I’m doing that.

We’re getting really close to the 66 days now. Maybe I’m just gonna ride that out and refocus when it’s over. Or maybe tomorrow I’ll wake up and re-dedicate myself towards the end of this period.

I’m not sure.

I do think an honest reflection, goal setting, goal monitoring session is coming due. Something to evaluate where I’m at, where I’m coming from, and where I’m going.

I quit my job selling gelato off a bike, but I have had steady paid music gigs on Fridays.

It’s like I can only take a certain amount of goodness. Like I’ve got a job, kind of, now, so I should slack on my personal care routines.

It makes me admire how you other 66 dayers have managed at all juggling demanding jobs. Kudos to you. Jin, I can hear you responding to that, but you’re doing well. You’re an inspiration.

Tonight I cooked for myself. I haven’t been doing that much lately either.

Even this writing is lazy. But it easy. I’m not thinking up something knew, or exploring topics deeply. I’m just writing about the ease I’ve given myself.

I look forward to what’s coming. I look forward to conquering new tasks. I think it would do me well to finish strong here. It would be nice to have a more critical reflection tomorrow.

I cleaned my kitchen. That’s a little thing. But life seems to be a lot of little things stacked on top of each other.

I’d like to get back to my breathing and meditation tomorrow. Those are little things. I’ve spent so much time watching these camera videos. The same ones over and over. It’ll be nice to get over that. And learn something new. I think next is learning about what they call the ‘exposure triangle’ in photography. I’m looking forward to getting back into film making.

But also, music, and compiling the book I’ve been building, and finishing the lyric video for the poem I recorded, and also making more collage to finish the book, and also finishing the album I’m working on with one of my bands, and also finishing the books I’m in the middle of.

There is plenty to do. I think this little break is perfect and good for me. I don’t want to stagnate here. But I think this laziness is necessary.

I wonder where I’ll be seven days from now.