I’ve long been fascinated with Jesus.

When I began my search for meaning in life I was led to philosophers and mystics. Naturally I would encounter Jesus.

Being born into a Christian family, and attending Catholic school, Jesus was nothing new. But there is something to different when you are inquiring from a place of personal interest and not because you were born into a system.

What I came to admire in Jesus was the compassion he held for all beings, and his devotion to the eternal. Even as he is being crucified, so the story goes, he asks god to forgive his transgressors, for ‘they know not what they do.’

I greatly admire the mindset that Jesus embodied. The generosity, the will power, the wisdom, this figure has surely earned the title the Prince of Peace.

I am not a zealot. I appreciate balance and compromise. But I do believe that there is certainly something to be learned from the world’s great religions, and not in a theocratic sense, but by studying the words and lives of the founders.

But today, I am inspired by Jesus of Nazareth. There is a story of Jesus, a period between his baptism and the beginning of his ministry when he goes out into the desert for 40 days and is tempted by the devil. Jesus is said to have refused each temptation, and in the Gospel of John it is said that the devil, whom Jesus calls ‘the prince of this world’, has no power over him.

There is a similar story of Gautama the Buddha resisting the temptations of Mara as he sits uncompromisingly under a tree as he attains the enlightenment.

I write and reflect on this story as in natural succession to yesterdays detailed vision of my best self.

As I dive deeper into this commitment to showing up as my best self day after day, I accept I will be challenged and I draw strength from those who have blazed the trail before me.

There are modern heroes, like David Goggins who I greatly admire, and also these historical figures, like Jesus and Buddha.

I think of Jesus in the desert, fasting for 40 days, enduring the most grueling of challenges. And I realize that his commitment to god, to truth, is being tested. That these trials are necessary.

And so today, I deepen my commitment to my best self. Now having been underway for two weeks and proving that I can overcome the challenges that writing daily have presented, I encourage myself to up my game and bring more greatness into my life.

All these visions that I’ve been given, I accept, and I am making them more and more necessary in my life.

I see this as a great challenge, but the relative nature of it let’s me know that I can do it. After all, it is no 40 days in the desert.

I wonder about the need to face challenges in life.

I wonder how important resiliency is.

I think of job interviews that ask what your greatest failure was. And how you learned from it.

I think my brain is in the process of rewiring itself to accept more challenging tasks so that I can overcome them. The greater difficulties I can overcome, the more I’ll be able to achieve. That will surely lead to a better positioning for all my life’s work.

I recognize the danger, of failure. And do not be fooled, it frightens me. But I will not let that stop me from trying.

I will continue to raise the necessity of this new lifestyle.

This is the establishment of the new normal. The world beckons it.

And so from here I embrace a 40 days period of great trials. Including: intermittent fasting. Regimented exercise. Early wake up times. Meditation. Reading. Writing. Sobriety (M). Celibacy.

Perhaps my ministry will begin on the other side.

There is an excitement that I feel running through my body as I write this.

The possibility of success is outshining the fear of failure.

My ability to get up again and again will be tested, like the Chinese proverb says, “down 7, up 8”, or “our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall.”

It is easy to dream of the future. I accept that the seat I’m in now cannot really comprehend the actual intense struggle of 40 days, but I will show up. I will push myself. I am accepting uncomfortably for the sake of growth.

Most importantly, I am tired of dreaming about my potential, believing that if I only worked a bit harder or had more discipline, I’d be a better person. It is time to put that to the test.

I believe that I will experience some angst and at times an overwhelming desire to quit. I think it will be important to realize that I am not removing things from my life, but adding. I am adding health. I am adding clarity. I am adding knowledge. I am adding value.

I am ready for this.  Wish me luck.

*In my darkest times, I hope I have the courage to turn to my teachers to inspire strength.